it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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