He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
