dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
home. puking in laundry basket.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
