Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
