how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
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