i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
The feeling are messing with the penis
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
