Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
