sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
