people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
