And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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