She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
are you so shy because you have an std?
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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