i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
