I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize