I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
