I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
