You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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