yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
