You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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