My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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