i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
i came on her dog
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
