I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
