She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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