yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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