He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
