he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
