hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
