Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
