Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
