we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
