He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
