she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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