can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
