Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
