I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
