My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
