So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
