I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
