How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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