guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
