Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
