I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Randomize
