How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Randomize
