Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
