How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
