watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize