she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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