i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
