my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
