if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
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