haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
