The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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