Sponge bath it is.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize
