He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
