i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
