Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
