How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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