They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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