I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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