you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize