Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
